Almost Worth It
by FleurHartz
Summary: FINISHED- all three chapters up. Vignettes of Nina and Jack's relationship pre-season 1. RR!
1. Almost Worth It

ALMOST WORTH IT  
  
O'Leary's was a small, weathered red brick building hidden in the middle of downtown Los Angeles. It had originally been designed to resemble an authentic Irish pub, but over time it had taken on characteristics of its eclectic clientele. It boasted a crowd of a few diverse but very loyal regulars. In the months since his separation from his wife, Jack Bauer had become one of those regulars. He liked the bar's seclusion and the fact that the bar tender and his fellow customers didn't ask him questions. This night was not unlike many other nights; Jack sat alone a collection of shot glasses growing in front of him; tension, memories, and loneliness dulling slightly with every sip of the clear burning liquid.   
  
Nina opened the heavy, weathered oak door slipping off her jacket and hanging it on one of the brass hooks by the door. Jack had taken her to O'Leary's for the first time a few months ago and they had been back many times since.  
  
"Hey." She said sliding on to the empty barstool next to him.  
  
"Hey." Jack said not looking up from his drink.  
  
"Sorry, I'm late. My boss had me buried under a mountain of paper work. I have to cover his ass all the time." Jack looked at her quizzically only to realize that she was smiling a sardonic smile.  
  
"Sorry." Jack said finally, his voice softening slightly and even managing a small sort of half smile before draining the shot in front of him.  
  
"Well, I clearly have some catching up to do." Nina said eyeing the glasses on the bar in front Jack and ordering a shot for herself. The tinny sound of a cellular ring intruded into the otherwise quiet atmosphere of the bar. Jack looked at the number and got up from his stool.  
  
"I'm sorry. I have to take this." He added almost as an afterthought as he walked toward the front hallway. Nina threw back her shot and surveyed the now familiar bar. She hated this place, the strange lack of ambiance, and the lonely isolated figures, it all just seemed so pathetic. She waited five more minutes and then decided to go. It had been a long day and if Jack was just going to drink away his sorrows she didn't exactly want to sit around and watch. She went to the door and reached for her coat but the sound of Jack's voice heavy laden with tension made her pause.  
  
"Teri, I can't do this now… I know, it's never a good time, I'm sorry…That is not fair and you know it…Maybe you were right when you said it was over…I wish we could make it work too." Nina had heard enough she grabbed her coat and was gone.   
  
~*~  
  
  
  
Nina soaked in a hot bath letting the tension of the day melt into the steaming soapy water. She cursed herself for being so stupid. Why did she care? Why did she let him get her, when no one else ever did? She was jarred from her thoughts by a rather insistent knocking on her front door. She sat for a second, hoping whomever it was would just give up and go away, but the knocking came a second time. She reluctantly got out of the tub and snatched her robe off the counter tying it securely around her.  
  
  
  
"I'm coming." She yelled irritably as she made her way to the front door. She glanced through the peephole and saw a rather inebriated looking Jack standing on her front door step. With a sigh, she opened the door.  
  
  
  
"What is it Jack?" she said her voice cold and unforgiving.  
  
  
  
"Can I come in?"  
  
  
  
"Sure, Jack." Her voice oozed with sarcasm. "You blow me off, leave me waiting while you take a phone call from your wife, but now that you're all good and drunk, I suddenly find you so attractive again!"   
  
"How did you know the call was from my wife?" Jack asked.  
  
"I heard you, Jack." Nina looked away as she spoke, her voice betraying much more emotion than she meant it to.  
  
"Nina, I'm sorry" Jack said reaching forward and gently tucking a strand of her damp hair behind her ear.  
  
"Yeah, I've been getting that a lot lately." Nina said any trace of vulnerability gone from her voice. She brushed his hand off of her cheek and stepped forward to shut the door.   
  
"I think you should go."   
  
Jack caught the door with his hand.  
  
"Don't do that, Nina. Please don't shut me out."   
  
"I'm shutting YOU out? You're such a hypocrite-"  
  
He stepped forward, taking her face in his hands and kissing her hard. Nina knew she should pull away, but the taste of his lips was intoxicating. She kissed him hungrily in return and the rage coursing through her morphed into a consuming passion. They stumbled back into the entry way and Jack kicked the door shut behind them. She pulled away for moment, walking down the short hallway to her bedroom, shedding her robe as she went. Jack pulled her to him again, kissing her deeply and desperately. She slid his shirt off of his shoulders, adding it to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. They collapsed together onto the bed.  
  
"I love you. I love you so much, Nina." Jack mumbled against her lips, his hands eagerly exploring the familiar territory of her body.   
  
Nina knew it was the alcohol speaking and she hated him for saying it. She hated the weakness that made her want to hear it. She hated that she had let him in again. But despite everything, she still found herself feeling the closest thing to love she'd ever felt for anyone in her life. She would never be able to push him away. She knew that this night would end like so many others, exhausted in a tangle of sweaty sheets, and in the morning, Jack would leave, guilty and hung over. She knew that this was the closest she ever had or ever would feel to any one. And she hated that even here, in this moment that meant so much to her, as close as she could possibly be to him, she still had no idea how he truly felt. He said he loved her. He kissed her like he loved her. These long, passionate nights made her feel like he loved her.   
  
But it was Jack. And it was his job to lie. So all she could do after nights like these was lie right back to him. She could do it flawlessly, her voice betraying nothing, when they saw each other at work tomorrow. And, as sad as it was, it was worth it. Almost. 


	2. Fever

A/N- Thanks for all the reviews guys! I wrote this chapter, and my sister wrote chapter 3! Enjoy! The lyrics are from Liz Phair's "Fever."  
  
Fever  
  
~*~  
  
Lying wide awake in the dark  
  
Trying to figure out where you are  
  
Always going nowhere  
  
Afraid of going somewhere  
  
Somewhere's a place in your heart  
  
~*~  
  
"All right, everyone. I know it's Monday, but we have a lot of work to do." Jack said, ending the CTU office meeting by standing and starting to collect his papers.  
  
  
  
Casual conversation filled the air as everyone filed out and back to their desks. Nina stood up, her fists clenched slightly. Jack had been ignoring her all morning. She was getting so tired of this- Nina had absolutely no clue what to expect from him; he reacted to her differently every time they spoke.   
  
  
  
"Nina?" Tony's voice jolted her out of her reverie.  
  
  
  
"Yes?" She looked up at him, disinterested.  
  
  
  
"You are aware the meeting's over. That means you can leave." Tony said, grinning slightly.  
  
  
  
Nina had no patience for him this morning. She rolled her eyes, getting up and going to walk past him, but he could not take a hint apparently.  
  
  
  
"Is everything okay? You've seemed really distracted all morning." He asked, his voice annoyingly concerned.  
  
  
  
"Tony, I'm fine. Don't you have work to do?" She said, waving a hand dismissively.  
  
  
  
Tony looked a little hurt.  
  
  
  
"Yeah…I guess I do." He shuffled out of the room like a little puppy who'd been kicked. Nina sighed heavily. Tony was attractive and everything, but he was nothing compared to…well, she wasn't even going to think about him. She was tired of thinking about him so much.  
  
  
  
She left the conference room, and decided to get some coffee. She hadn't got much sleep last night- and again, she blamed Jack. He'd been so drunk she was surprised he even remembered her name.   
  
  
  
Nina went to the coffee maker, hating the silence of the empty room. She just wanted to get back to work on some faceless new nemesis, get her mind off the reality of her life for a while and deal with her much easier role as a stalwart government employee. Suddenly, someone was behind her, his hand on her arm, his lips inches away from her ear.  
  
  
  
"I think Tony likes you."   
  
  
  
"I'm shocked you noticed." She turned around in his arms to face Jack, her posture rigid against his touch.  
  
  
  
"Look, I'm sorry about last night."  
  
  
  
"I thought you might say that." She shook her head, twisting away from him and pouring herself a coffee cup.  
  
  
  
Jack moved next to her.  
  
  
  
"Nina, I meant what I said-"  
  
  
  
"No, you didn't." She cut him off irately.  
  
  
  
"Why would I lie to you?" Jack looked at her.  
  
  
  
Nina set the cup down angrily, suddenly looking at him,  
  
  
  
"You know, Jack, I have no idea! Why don't you tell me why one minute you're telling me you love me and then the next minute you act like I don't even exist?" Nina snapped, her voice a harsh whisper.  
  
  
  
Suddenly, the door to room opened, and Tony peeked in. He could tell he had interrupted something, but couldn't really tell what. Nina and Jack were standing very close together, and both looked really pissed off. But that was about all he could gather. Weird.  
  
  
  
"Uh-Jack? Jamie wanted to show you something from that new flight report." Tony said, feeling a little awkward.  
  
  
  
"Tell him I'll be right there." Jack said, obviously distracted.  
  
  
  
Tony nodded, still standing there.  
  
  
  
"Anything else?" Nina said, her voice a lot colder than she meant it to be.  
  
  
  
"No." Tony said, looking at them quizzically.  
  
  
  
Jack and Nina stared at him expectantly.  
  
  
  
"So…I'll just go." Tony said slowly, closing the door behind him.  
  
  
  
They were left alone again. Nina crossed her arms.  
  
  
  
"Better go check on that flight report."  
  
  
  
"Nina, I really am sorry."   
  
  
  
"Please, Jack. You don't even know what you're apologizing for."  
  
  
  
Jack sighed, grabbing her upper arms and forcing her to look at him.  
  
  
  
"I'm sorry for the way I've treated you. You deserve better. And I'll make it up to you if you give me the chance."  
  
  
  
Nina looked at him skeptically.  
  
  
  
"Oh, really? And how do you plan on doing that?"  
  
  
  
Jack smiled slightly.  
  
  
  
"Two tickets to Santa Barbara. This weekend. We can get away for a while, and neither of us can even mention work. Just you and me." He whispered, waiting for reaction.  
  
  
  
Nina rolled her eyes, smiling.  
  
  
  
"You actually expect me to go for that? Throw a nice vacation at me and all is forgiven?"  
  
  
  
"I was hoping you might." Jack said, tucking a strand of her dark hair behind her ear.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, well, twist my arm…" She laughed, kissing him.  
  
  
  
Jack, relieved not to be fighting anymore, deepened the kiss and forgot for a moment that they were at work. Nina wrapped her arms around his neck, remembering but not really caring that they were at work. Everybody else was busy with that flight report; they had a little time.   
  
  
  
Out of habit, she began to undo his tie as Jack slid her jacket off her shoulders. Suddenly, the door opened again. This time, it was George, looking at them with a bemused expression on his face.  
  
  
  
"Really, you two, put a sock on the door." He grinned.  
  
  
  
Jack quickly untangled himself from her, fixing his tie and looking nonchalant.  
  
  
  
"Something you needed, George?" He said, as Nina tried to retain her dignity while picking her jacket off from the floor.  
  
  
  
"Jamie's about to have a coronary about something in the flight reports. She just asked me to come remind you. But you know, you seem a little busy, I'm sure the fate of the free world can wait." George shrugged.  
  
  
  
"I'll be right there." Jack nodded, speaking in his most businesslike tone.  
  
  
  
"I'll tell her. Oh, and, hey Nina." He smiled slightly at Nina, standing behind Jack.  
  
  
  
"Hello, George." She practically mumbled.  
  
  
  
Still laughing to himself, he left.  
  
  
  
"All right, we do need to get away for awhile." Nina grinned at him.  
  
  
  
"If we don't get fired first." Jack said, looking after George.  
  
  
  
"Oh, come on. George doesn't really care, and no one else knows," she kissed him quickly, turning to leave, "I'll see you later."  
  
  
  
Jack just nodded, smiling at her.   
  
  
  
She smiled back, and left the room, forgetting all about her coffee.  
  
~*~  
  
A/N- On to ch. 3! 


	3. Scar

AN: Lyrics are from the song "Scar" by Fuel  
  
Chapter Three  
  
Scars  
  
Drag this frown from my face   
  
Force a smile to take its place   
  
I can pretend that I'm not confused   
  
And I don't need the likes of you   
  
Fall in, fall out   
  
Break free, break down   
  
One look …  
  
One kiss, goodbye  
  
  
  
Jack sat alone on the couch in his apartment. He surveyed the four   
  
blank walls and the rest of the barely decorated room. It had the   
  
unsettled look of a temporary residence. The truth was that he had never let   
  
himself get comfortable here, this wasn't home, and the stark empty walls only   
  
served as a reminder.   
  
This was going to be his last week here. He and Teri   
  
had decided to try and make things work and he had asked if he could   
  
move back home.   
  
He missed Kim and knew that she needed a father, not one that   
  
stopped by every other weekend, but a real father and Teri was his wife   
  
they owed it to each other to see if this could work again.   
  
He had made all the preparations and had started packing what little stuff he had in the   
  
apartment. There was only one thing left to do and he had never wanted   
  
to do anything less. The sound of the front door swinging open pulled him   
  
from his thoughts.  
  
"Hey." Nina called from the entry way dropping her keys and jacket on   
  
the table by the front door.  
  
  
  
"Hey." Jack called from his seat on the couch and turning to face the   
  
door.   
  
  
  
"Don't get up. I'll come in there." She said making her way to the   
  
kitchen. "Do you want a beer?"  
  
  
  
"Sure." Jack answered thinking that alcohol would definitely make what   
  
he was about to do easier.   
  
Nina reappeared sliding on to the couch beside him   
  
and handing him his drink. She took a long sip and the placed the   
  
bottle on the table. She kicked off her shoes and pulled her legs up onto to the   
  
couch; this was the first time she had gotten to relax all day and she was   
  
savoring every second.  
  
  
  
"Thank god its finally Friday." Nina said sighing contentedly.  
  
  
  
"Bad day?" Jack asked placing his bottle besides hers on the table.  
  
  
  
"Not bad exactly, just long and frustrating."   
  
  
  
"Care to elaborate?" Jack asked forestalling the inevitable.  
  
  
  
"No, I don't feel like talking about work, we do that enough at work."   
  
Her mouth curled into a wry grin.   
  
"In fact I don't really feel like talking." She said, leaning forward and kissing him.   
  
Jack's body reacted before his brain could catch up. He returned her kiss passionately one of his   
  
hands reaching up to tangle in her hair. For a second he was completely lost   
  
in her, her taste, her smell, her obvious hunger for him, but finally his   
  
brain started working and he realized that this would only make things worse.   
  
  
  
"Wait." He mumbled against her lips, pulling back abruptly.  
  
  
  
"What is it?" Nina asked arching an eye brow quizzically.  
  
  
  
"We need to talk." Jack said suddenly finding himself unable to hold   
  
her gaze.  
  
  
  
"Ah, the four worst words in the English language. What exactly do we   
  
need to talk about?" she settled back into the cushions of the couch trying   
  
her best to look nonchalant. She could sense his hesitation and had a   
  
growing feeling that this was not going to be a pleasant conversation.  
  
  
  
"I can't do this anymore." Jack stated matter-of-factly, finally   
  
meeting her eyes.   
  
He hoped his voice sounded more certain than he felt.  
  
  
  
"I assume by "this" you mean us." Nina said after a weighted silence.   
  
Her voice was steady and strangely void of any kind of emotion.  
  
  
  
"Yes, I am trying to get my life back together and I can't do that   
  
unless I make things right with my family. I need to make a clean start and I   
  
can't do that if…" suddenly Jack found himself unable to articulate what he   
  
was trying to say, words just seemed so inadequate.   
  
They sat in silence for a long moment. Jack tried to read her pale green eyes, he had seen so   
  
many things in those eyes: calculation, desire, anger, laughter but now they   
  
were unwilling to divulge their secrets to him. Finally Nina broke the   
  
silence.  
  
  
  
"Well, good luck with that." She said, slipping her shoes back on and   
  
getting up.  
  
  
  
"Don't go like this." Jack knew he should just let her walk away but it   
  
seemed so wrong, so abrupt.   
  
She turned to face him again, her eyes flashing dangerously.  
  
  
  
"Oh I'm sorry Jack when you said it was over I thought that was my cue   
  
to leave." She said her voice oozing with sarcasm. "Do you want me to stay   
  
so we can hash out every detail of what went wrong? I mean it's been real and everything,   
  
but we both knew it was just temporary."  
  
  
  
"That's not what I meant." Jack said feeling himself start to get   
  
angry.  
  
  
  
"What then, Jack? Did you want one last f*** for old times sake." Nina's voice was still cold and mocking but she felt herself starting to lose   
  
control and she knew she had to get out.  
  
Jack didn't say anything. Nina shook her head.  
  
  
  
"I'll see you on Monday. Let me know how the whole happy family thing works   
  
out for you."   
  
Without giving Jack time to respond, she was out the door.   
  
Nina quickly made her way to her car, slipping into the front seat and   
  
jamming her keys into the ignition. She felt the sharp sting of tears   
  
clouding her vision one slipped down her cheek and she angrily swept it   
  
away blinking back the rest. She had never cried over anyone and she was   
  
not about to start now. Why the hell did she let him get to her like this?   
  
She felt vulnerable and discarded, two things she had never felt before and   
  
vowed that she would never feel again. She reached over and picked her cell   
  
phone up off the seat next to her.  
  
"Hello." A thickly accented Serbian voice answered.  
  
"This is Yelena. Is your offer still valid?" Nina asked her voice void   
  
of any emotion.  
  
"Yes, of course. Have you reconsidered?"  
  
"Yes." She answered in the same flat voice.  
  
"Excellent. As soon as you deliver, the funds will be transferred to an   
  
off shore account. If you don't mind me asking what changed your mind?"   
  
"Nothing changed; I just realized that there's nothing really stopping me."   
  
Nina forced a smile as she lied.  
  
"We will contact you again shortly." The thickly accented voice said   
  
and then the line went dead.   
  
Nina tossed the cell phone back onto the passenger seat and started the car. She drove off into the black night with an   
  
off-handed thought of how quickly everything could change.   
  
--   
  
*fin* 


End file.
